8 Aug 2010

Marriage or Wedding?...

Dearest Friends, I've missed you guys a great deal and I'm glad to be back again. I've attended a number of weddings lately, spoken to some married people and this has inspired todays blog.

I remember as little girls, we all imagined our fairy tale weddings with Prince Charming. We all wanted to have wedding gowns made by Valentino, Vera Wang... etc The wedding venue will be a castle like church, followed by a lavish reception preferably by the sea... All these wishes are okay and very much in place, if they are not considered a determining factor to a long lasting marraige. Some of these mentioned wishes have made people end up with the wrong partner.

A young lady wanting to have a "talk of the town" wedding will definitely want a husband that will guarantee that it comes to pass. Whilst some are lucky to have met the right one, others haven't been that lucky and they soon find out after the wedding that they have married a stranger all in a bid "to impress". I don't want to sound like the devils' advocate, afterall "me sef i like beta thing" but i also know that it is much better to have a not so luxurious wedding and have a spetacular marriage.

Wedding is that "one" day ceremony where your friends, loved ones, family come to rejoice with you and your partner. That is the day that you show the world who you've chosen to spend your life with and also the day you promise each other in front of your maker that it is '...till death do you part. Marriage is the main thing, it is when you both start practicing and trying to live out what you promised God and other people. That is the main thing you should be concerned about, that is where all the effort should go. Wouldn't you rather invest all it takes to make sure that your marraige is "talk of the town" ? The one day ceremony (wedding) will pass and will be quickly forgotten but your marriage is something, if done properly will be referred to by a lot of people for a very long time.

Let's not mix these two things (wedding and marriage) up because it could end up in a tragedy. Imagine the following scenarios;
A: Girl meets a guy, he's well to do, nice person, showers her with loads of gifts and money but she doesn't exactly feel like their soulmates. She is blinded by the goodies she constantly recieves from him, she is the envy of all her friends, so when he 'pops the question', she hastily says "yes". telling herself that with time she'll get to understand him better and that after the wedding, they'll work things out. Afterall, what could possibly go wrong? He has enough resources to take care of all her needs ,not to mention the "talk of the town" wedding that is sure to take place.

B: Girl meets a guy, he has prospects, is goal oriented... but is not well to do at the moment. He can afford to offer her the traditional outing to the cinema once in a while, maybe dinner sometimes but nothing too fancy. She has loads of friends that have wealthy boyfriends and is tempted to think that she may have "settled for less". One thing she couldn't deny was the fact that they loved each other dearly and he would do absolutely anything to ensure that she was fine. He respected everything about her and didn't joke with matters concerning her. He couldn't promise her a "talk of the town" wedding but she knew their marraige was going to be "heaven on earth" so when he popped the question, she didn't regret saying "yes".

So with scenario A, you can be sure her joy will know no bounds during the wedding but she'll spend the rest of her life regretting. However, scenario B, will enjoy a lifetime of joy and fulfilment. We all love the good things of life and sometimes we wish to have the 'best of both worlds' but life is known to be very tricky sometimes, so when faced with life defining issues; please make the right decisons that will serve you long-term not short term.

Life is already complicated, why would you want to further complicate it by making the wrong decision? A word they say is enough for the wise. Have a blessed week!

Stay Strong!

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